There are few things more painful than being the sober person in Adams Morgan on a Saturday night. Fortunately, sobriety heightens my sense of hearing. Or something. Here are some of my favorite conversation snippets from last night's... outing.
"Man, you're hot baby. So how many kids do you have?"
"I don't have any kids."
"Girl, really? No way. You Puerto Rican or something?"
"No, and fuck you for saying that."
"Girl, I'm just saying. You 25... You sure you ain't got no kids?"
"Hey baby, I like your dress. Can I call you next time I go shopping?"
"It warms my heart that everytime I see you, you get better looking."
"This isn't a drunk dial. This is a Capital of the United States drunk dial."
"I'm not kidding! I miss the freakin' annoying lady!"